I picked up “The Help” by Kathryn Stockett a week ago and I have been absorbed in it ever since. You know it is a good book when you get totally wrapped up in the characters and their stories, feeling their anxiety, fear, joy and learning along with them. I won't tell you about the book, you can read that for yourself. What I will tell you is what I learned. I have been questioning the same things they have, who have I judged, who have I not seen, who have I dismissed as unimportant, who am I prejudiced against, who do I take for granted, who do I think I am being kind to but in a way that keeps them down and because of all of this, what opportunities have I missed for making connections with others?
This self-examination is hard. I waffle between the characters and plead ignorance, upbringing, culture, norms, fear of other people's judgments and just plain lack of attention to others and my self-absorption (like right now). I have missed so many moments to be “changed”. This book is helping me drop the veil from my eyes and see the world in a different way. In the biggest way it helped me see myself even though the story was set in another place, a different time with different values. It helped me see that we aren't removed from racism/prejudice, we have just cleaned it up a bit. We still have a ways to go and the first place we need to change is our own mindset, to question our day-to-day actions and biases, to really see the other and know that we are seeing ourselves. In the most fundamental ways, we are all human and our differences are the icing. The cake is still the same and it is the icing that makes it interesting.
In the end this book let me see that we are alone on our journey. Yes, we all have other people who join us for a leg or two, some who constantly criss-cross on our path, some who light a torch when we need it, some who steer us off or back on, some who put up roadblocks, some who have the lemonade stand on the side and some who leave their footprints for us to follow a ways. And each and every one of those people is important on our journey. They are our guides for a spell. Ultimately we are still alone. Ultimately we are the only one that starts and finishes on this path. A good friend helps us to keep trudging along and what we find out is that we have to be a good friend to ourselves, to know when to question our judgment, know when to give a pep talk, know when to open our eyes, know when to take a rest, know when to listen and know when to apply first aid.
That's why faith is so powerful. Whatever we call it, God, the creator, Spirit, Universe, All – we want to know that in our aloneness there is something bigger than the tiny person we are, someone that walks with us, someone we can talk to along the way, someone who will be there with us every step of the way, someone who embraces us in our darkest moments, someone who has an eternal beacon of light shining for us, someone who helps us find our way home. And that is our ultimate journey – to find our way home where we are one with all, that this separation is the illusion. Our reality is infinitely more.
That's what I call a great read, one that captivates me from beginning to end and brings “me” (the little “i” and the big “I”) into the story. It was entertaining and really made me think. Hope you pick up a copy and read it for yourself.