Okay, she isn't Gilligan, but she sure looks like it with her sun hat on. When she is sitting back relaxed, she is lots of fun to be with and to chill with. She smiles easily, loves to laugh and has stories to tell. Her stories are about her childhood, her family and school. Mom must have loved going to school because so many of her memories are tied to that part of her life.
While she likes to be with us hanging out, she likes the idea more than the reality. Being in Toronto we want to go shopping and sight-seeing. When you ask mom if she wants to come along, she is always up for it and eagerly gets ready to go (just give her 30 minutes notice so she might be ready by the time you need to head out the door). Leave the house and already she starts whining about the heat (who wouldn't) and having to go out. Get her in the car and she wants to know where we are going and by the time you are on the road she is wondering what we are doing and why we have to be doing this. Stop and go to do some shopping and then the real sighing will begin, complaints about how old she is and that she really can't be doing this anymore. There are benefits to being older – you get to say exactly what you feel.
“So tell me again,” is what she is saying now, this being a familiar refrain. We are looping about our plans for tomorrow, heading back to Gimli and taking her with us so she can visit with her family and be there for the Minerva homecoming. Mom and I stayed behind for the afternoon, letting the younger ones (okay Pat doesn't really fit that description), go shopping. I wouldn't say that mom's children are thick, but we are a bit slow. It takes us several attempts at including her in all the activity before we learn that while she may want to join in, the reality is that she can't cope. While she truly does love us and her grandchildren (in theory-memory), the reality of all of us at once is too much for her now. One-on-one is so much better for her, she gets her sparkle back.
So here we are just the two of us. Her smile is close at hand and I am enjoying just hanging with my mom. Every moment is a joy no matter what comes up, every moment is one more moment with a great woman who I know loves me completely the way I was meant to be loved, for who I am not who I will be – the present is all we have. In her mind I am perfect even if the reality isn't all that it is cracked up to be.
Thanks mom.