Day 1 after Pat's gallbladder surgery and I am being the caregiver. What does that really mean? It sure doesn't mean that I am nursing him back to health. I am taking extra care of him and getting that glass of orange juice, reminding him about taking his medication, making the odd piece of toast, doing the chores he usually does and can't right now, helping him up when he needs a hand, checking to see how he is feeling and giving lots of smiles. Oooh, this sounds like a lot of work and I am not sure I can sustain this to Day 2.
Yesterday when he was in recovery after the surgery he got up to go to the bathroom and trailed blood on the floor. I was ready to phone for Home Care after that. There is a reason why I am not in the health care field. I don't do well with other people's bodily fluids and even the thought of wounds. I am getting nauseous just writing about this. When the nurse came to check his dressings and see how he was doing, I had to look the other way.
A few years ago Pat had another surgical procedure, closer to a part of his body where the sun doesn't shine too much. Afterwards the doctor explained how he would need his wife to change the dressing every day OR he could come to the hospital every morning and have a nurse do it. Pat chose the hospital and it was a WISE CHOICE. I still haven't looked at that part of his body and it is only a faded scar and the memory of the young nurse who had the task of asking Pat to put his feet up in the stirrups so she could change the dressing one day. I am sure that moment scarred her more than Pat.
So here I am, home with Pat for the day doing my wifely caregiver duties. Is there a limit? You bet! If he needs a dressing change, I can drive him to the hospital. If all he needs is a little extra care and attention, I can handle that….for a day or two. I can hear Cindy in the background already, “This isn't about YOU Edith.” You are right, it's about Pat getting the best care and I can arrange for that. Because when it comes to looking after my man, I want to make sure he does get the best care. You can pay for that or use the services that used to be part and parcel of our healthcare system. There was a reason why people recuperated in hospital – they were looked after by people trained to do the job.
I am not a nurse, I am the spouse. I love him and know that what I offer is care, concern, warmth, gentle nudging to follow doctor's orders, hot meals, clean clothes, clean house and to recognize when the professionals need to be called in to do the job. So don't worry…..he's in good hands.
