Yesterday (no, not like the Beatles), like in the day before, we went to High Prairie to visit friends on their farm. The day was lovely, the colours stunning and I was taking pictures of everything. The light through the trees, the colours of the leaves, the reflection in the water, the old car covered in moss, it all was calling me to stop and notice, to stop and enjoy the beauty surrounding me. As luck would have it, we had a young boy accompanying us on our walk through the woods and down to the river. He entertained us with his reckless driving of his homemade bicycle down the steep hill and his constant chatter of what he was doing and thinking. It was the perfect soundtrack to a perfect day.
When I told him that I run every day and stop lots to take pictures on my route, he innocently said, "you must have taken all the pictures if you are going on the same route all the time." To him he could only see the repetitive nature of that run/route and why would I waste my time taking the camera with me if I had already taken those pictures. His innocent stream of consciousness made me think about why I do take the camera and gave me the opportunity to explain that every run, every moment something changes and awaits our notice. The different time of day with the light, the clouds that cover the sky, the slight change in colour from day to day, new growth, signs of decay, a little detour off the path -- it all changes even if it stays the same.
My camera is my "moment" finder. Carrying it and taking pictures are more about being in that moment with that beauty than it is about getting a great picture. Most of what I photograph gets purged when I return. Most of what I "capture" can never be "captured". It doesn't look the same when I "caught" it on the camera - so much of the picture isn't there and what I stopped to see is so much more than what my eye can see. It is the entire moment of just being one with the light, one with nature, one with sound, one with smell, one with sensation - and so much more. How could I ever capture the wind whispering, the birdsong rejoicing, the grasshoppers jumping, the leaf fluttering, the brook babbling, the smell of high-bush cranberries rotting, the light dancing through the trees - all those moments that include a universe of possibility. I can only be in the moment and notice that while everything is the same it is always changing.
Running daily gives me the chance to experience the change within the sameness and to apply it to my own life. While I can struggle with my "same old thoughts", I know that everything is always changing. A subtle shift of perspective, a brief pause of silence, a twinkle of acceptance, a rich smell of forgiveness, a whispering of calm and a full breath of joy. That is all there even when it feels like my thoughts and feelings are stuck on repeat.
Our daughter often calls wanting to find out what's new. I tell her that nothing is - it was the same, I went to work, came home, made supper and went to bed to read, fall asleep and get up and start again. I could tell her that everything has changed because it all has. It may sound the same and look the same, but we are like the babbling brook, the water that passes by is always new. I have changed, I continue to change but what has changed can't be captured. It can only be experienced. Next time she calls and asks, "What's new?", I will say "everything" and leave it at that or maybe I will try to do what I do with pictures, share what can't be captured and know that in sharing it will change again and create new moments that can only be experienced.
That really is what makes our humanness so exciting. We do try to "capture" our moments and share them. We connect to the other through the most imperfect of means and in doing so we create new universes of possibility. Today we are having our Thanksgiving meal and I know what I am thankful for - I am thankful for every moment to just be and for every moment to share and be shared with. It isn't the same, it has all changed and every possibility is here right now. WOW, I am thankful for the AWESOMENESS of the universe.
Happy Thanksgiving.
